I have to admit, it was with great trepidation that I went to pick up my results on Friday. I don't know if I just didn't want to get my hopes up again. It was hard not to imagine that I was feeling additional numbness on the right or that my taste sensation wasn't being further altered. I had kind of convinced myself that the chemo wasn't working. By the time I arrived at the clinic I was almost too afraid to get out of the car. I just couldn't get my composure. I sat there in the parking lot for a while and then finally said a prayer and told Heavenly Father "I need you, I can't do this on my own." Only a moment passed before a sweet peace seemed to pass over me. I seemed to hear in my mind the words "I am here"
It's hard to express what that meant to me. Needless to say, I now had the courage to get out of the car and walk into the clinic. I picked up the report and went back to the car where I could have some privacy to read it. I won't bother you with the whole report but here is the good part:
A lesion, previously identified in the right pterygoid muscles that measured 2.9 x 2.1 x 2.1 cm now measures 1.9 X 1.8 X 1.9 cm. The slightly more inferior lesion in the operative bed that previously measured 2.3 x 1.8 cm now measures 1.3 x 1.3 cm. Both lesions enhance to a lesser degree than what was noted previously.I read those words and then sat in the car and wept. Finally a chemical combination that seems to be effective against my cancer. Suffering through chemo is no fun but when you find out that it is ineffective it seems to magnify the suffering. When they tell me that it is working it makes whatever discomfort I have experienced seem so worth it.
When I finally got all the tears out I went up to give the nurses some blood and hug everyone and tell them the good news. Then I called Mayo to tell my doctor there what the report says. He has been so kind to us and felt so bad when my cancer came back. I was only able to leave a message but I'm sure he will be delighted.
We meet with the doctors on Wednesday and we will see where things go now. In the meantime, I feel like prayers have been answered and maybe I am finally on the road back to health.
|By the way, did I mention that I have a beautiful Grand-Daughter?|