Cast off the anchor ropes, raise the sails!

Monday was my last chemotherapy ever I hope.  Only time will tell but I can hope.  I have been bald so many times now I have almost forgotten what I look like with hair.

As is often the case, the full impact of the chemo doesn't hit you until a few days later.  So, yesterday was a hard day physically.  I just felt run down from the moment I got up.  Everything hurt more and my wounds just wouldn't dry up.  When I have a hard day physically it makes it hard to have a good day emotionally.  They go hand in hand whether I like it or not.  I came home at lunch just dragging.  Sweet JoLynne got home shortly after I did.  I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I had been at home crying, but oh well.  JoLynne is amazing.  She never scolds me, just puts her arms around me and tells me "it's going to be alright, it's okay to get discouraged"  I don't pretend to understand why things are the way that they are but when JoLynne puts her arms around me I can physically and emotionally feel the stress flow out of me.  She has something magical about her.  I am so grateful!  The problems feel the same size but somehow I feel bigger with her there by my side

Ah, picc lines, so much

Today I feel much better.  I just woke up feeling better.  They took out my picc lines today.  After four months I was more than ready to be done with them.  It so so strange to have them pulled.  It doesn't hurt but the lines are pretty long.  They kind of just "reel" them out of your vein.

My treatment date in Houston has been moved up to December 29th.  The researchers called and said that my T-cells grew very nicely and are all done.  They have 12 batches of genetically modified T-cells sitting in the freezers, waiting to be injected back into me.  All that is lacking is the FDA to come and sign off on the batches and a free hospital bed.

May God's wind lead us safely there. 

With my picc line removal and the treatment date moved up I feel like a ship casting off.  "Cast off the anchor ropes and raise the sails"  There is something reassuring about being tied to an anchor rope but the reality is you never get to your destination until you lift the anchor.  Raising the sails has risk but the time comes for taking risks if you want to get anywhere.  I'm ready!