Stress and Relief

Well this last week I had a new PET/CT scan done.  Initially the next scan was supposed to be December 10th but I had noticed some swelling around the corner of my jaw and some tenderness.  I contacted my doctors and they thought it was worth it to move the scan date up.  So, the scan was taken  on Thursday.  Initially I was told that the results would be back the next day.  We were leaving for Cancun on Saturday with friends.  I couldn't decide if I wanted to know or not before our trip.  Finally on Friday I thought, "Just look your enemy in the eyes".  So, I went to the hospital and requested the results.  It turns out that they only read these complicated scans once a week on Wednesdays so there were no results.  Since I was there I had the images sent to Mayo to be read along with the read that we will have done here in Utah.

I think if you haven't had cancer it is hard to explain what it is like to wait for the results of a scan.  To be frank, most of my exams have come back with new cancer detected so I am understandably apprehensive of scans.  It's hard not to let ideas creep into your head.  I try to push them out but they keep pushing back in.  The "What if.." thoughts are agonizing.

We left for Cancun Saturday.  It was beautiful, of course, but still those thoughts hung over me, like a dark cloud.  Our second day there JoLynne and I spent floating down a jungle river in tubes and snorkeling in a crystal clear bay.  It was so relaxing that I found the dark thoughts dissipating.  They were still nagging at the edges but not on center stage anymore.   The rest of the vacation was just wonderful.  Friday, we returned home from swimming in some of the local cenotes, (water holes all across Yucatan).  When we got to our hotel I checked my email and there was a note from Dr. Foote at Mayo.

Opening it was like standing in front of a firing squad.  Gratefully the news was good.  Dr. Foote had the radiologist at Mayo read the images and they felt like I was cancer free.  One area was of slight concern so they want another scan in two months but the evidence pointed away from new cancer.  JoLynne and I just stood there and hugged each other and cried.  We are so grateful!  The firing squad had blanks in the guns this time.  YEAH!

A nice ending to a trip to Paradise.  Thank you for your prayers and support.

Here we are, back in Rochester again.  I tell you, we should have bought a condo for all the time we spend here.  Oh well, a little late for that I hope.

We arrived on Sunday evening and started appointments bright and early Monday morning.  Sunday night I noticed for the first time that the gums behind my lower right molar are bulging upward.  I'm certain that this is from tumor growth.  Perhaps it was there before and I didn't notice but it startled me.  I spent a sleepless night on Sunday worrying about how fast the tumor is growing.  I need to simply have more faith but sometimes doubts creep in.

Monday morning I was tired but feeling a little bit better.  One of the challenges that they are facing is deciding what is cancer and what is burned tissue from my former radiation treatment.  To help them decide they had be get a PET scan on Monday morning.  I was pretty sure this involved a cat or a rabbit but I was wrong.  Instead they hook you up with an IV and inject your body with radioactive glucose.  (They warn you in their instruction sheet that you will need a letter to fly in the next 24 hours as your body will set off airport detectors).  Anyway, you then lie in a dark room for an hour while your body absorbs the glucose.  I guess the idea is that cancer tissue will absorb more glucose than regular tissue.  Then they put you in a CT scanner and scan your body then you lay on this table full of radiation sensors for another hour without moving while it maps out where the radioactive isotopes have gone.  They then lay the map over the CT image.  In my case they needed me to stay absolute still so they bolted me to a table with this mask thing that they made for my face.  It was much tighter than the one made in Utah.  It was so tight that I couldn't move my eyelids.

Next we went over and had a core biopsy done of the area that was hard to distinguish.  I have a fair amount of nerve damage in that area so the pain was very minimal.  Every cloud has a silver lining

JoLynne and I together always

Our radiation oncology surgeon called back later in the day to give the results of the PET scan.  Gratefully no cancer in the lungs.  Some of the areas of question also appear to be cancer free.  One lymph gland in my throat had some suspicion.  The radiation surgeons have decided to include that area in the gamma knife surgery.  The biopsy results should be back on Wednesday.

So, today we have no appointments.  I think we will drive to Minneapolis and go to the temple.   Tomorrow the party begins.  I'm not too nervous, mostly just anxious to get things moving and to destroy this cancer once and for all.

Last week was supposed to have been our family vacation until my health altered our plans.  We had a few days between our visit on Tuesday and our return on Sunday so we decided to go camping close by.  We took our motorhome up to Wasatch mountain state park, about 40 minutes from our house.  Some of our children had to work so they came up when they could.  Shanelle and Vivian came along. Mike was at a nurse practitioner conference in Vegas.  It was only a few days but we enjoyed it.  Nice to sit around the campfire, go for a few walks, play games and just enjoy being together.  Hopefully we will be able to get out again sometime later this summer.