Just for fun I will show you what I just submitted. I would be interested in your feedback. Here you go.
The Stone
Written by Eric Vogel
801 319=4570 (cell)
243 W. 1455 S.
Orem, Utah 84058
Submitted on August 14th, 2015
Word count 1312 including cover page
I envision that each numbered line would include an
illustration of some sort.
Probably a total page count of 24 pages.
1. Once
upon a time there was a stone. It was
sitting on the side of mountain. It was
big and beautiful. It was the product of
eons of heat and pressure. When the sun
shone just right it would glisten.
2. One
day a man came up the mountain. He was a
master stone worker. He wandered around
a bit and then came to stand in front of the stone. He walked around looking at the stone from
every angle. He even made some
notes. The stone was happy to be admired
and became more convinced than ever about it’s beauty.
3. Several
days later, the master stoneworker returned with others and a large cart. They began to tie ropes around the stone and
levers underneath. The stone thought,
“There is no way that they can move me, I’m too big” but, to it’s surprise, it
soon began to feel itself moving.
4. At
this point the stone said, “Hey, what are you doing? I’m happy here. Leave me alone!” The men untied the ropes and withdrew a
pace. The master stoneworker approached
the stone and talked to it in a quiet voice.
He said, “I know you are happy on the mountain, who wouldn’t be. It’s beautiful here. But you were meant for greater things. Come with me and I will help you see a bigger
world.”
5. After
thinking about it the stone finally consented and it wasn’t long before the
stone found itself loaded on the cart and being hauled away from the mountain
home.
6. It
was taken to a large warehouse where it was moved from the cart and left by itself.
7. The
next day the master sontworker returned, this time carrying hammers and chisels. The master walked around the stone looking at
it this way and that. After a time he
picked up the hammer and a chisel and began to strike the stone.
8. At
first it tickled but then it began to hurt and the stone watched while one
piece of the stone fell to the ground, and then another and another. Sometimes the master would refer to a paper
that he had on table. Sometimes small
pieces fell away, sometimes large but always the pounding continued.
9. “Why
would this man want to beat on me so? I
was beautiful just the way I was” thought the stone. “Hey, cut it out! Quit pounding on me!” said the stone. So, the master stopped. He tried to persuade the stone that what he
was doing would be for the best, even though it hurt, but the stone
refused. The master hung his head,
packed up his tools and left the stone alone.
10. Not
long after, the stone saw a light where the door had opened again. The stone thought the master stoneworker was returning
to try to persuade it again but it wasn’t.
Instead, it was a tall, handsome man, dressed in fine clothes but he had
shifty eyes. He seemed sneaky. He
came to the stone and said, “I heard you were here. I hear that they have been pounding on you and
telling you crazy stories.”
11. The
stone wondered who the man was and how he knew so much. Then the man said, “I can make you beautiful
and you don’t have to suffer. It will be
so easy.” The man held up a bottle and
said, “This is my magic bottle. I simply
pour it on you and all the work is done without any pain to you.” The stone hesitated but then agreed to let
the sneaky man do what he wanted.
12. The
sneaky man then began to tell of all the wonders he could offer. He talked and he talked. As the man talked he opened the bottle and
poured it over the stone promising that this was the easier way. It
turned out that the bottle was full of acid.
The man talked and talked and as he talked the acid began making the
stone melt away. What had been a beautiful
stone was dissolving into a dirty mud puddle on the floor. Still the man continued to talk and talk. Suddenly it occurred to the stone that if he
didn’t do something the man would keep pouring acid and soon the stone would
melt completely. The stone realized.
“I’m not being changed for the better. I
am being being destroyed!”
13. The
stone told the man that he must leave.
The man smiled and said, “But I have so much more to tell you.” The stone simply told him, “I have had
enough. Please leave and take your
bottle of acid with you.” The man wasn’t
happy as he turned and left the room.
14. A
few days later the master returned. He
looked sadly at the stone. Much of his
work had been lost, dissolved away. The
stone no longer looked beautiful, just worn and common.
15. The
master left and later returned with a young man at his side. He looked at the stone with a new look of
hope. “This is my son. He has a gift. If you will let him, he can make you whole
again. We can start over.” The stone wondered how it could be possible
but agreed to let them try.
16. The
master’s son looked at the stone with a look of love, mingled with
sadness. He walked slowly around and
around, looking at the damage. The stone
was amazed at what happened next. The
son would stoop down and pick up the mud that had been stone and gently pat it
onto the stone again. Somehow the mud
stuck and hardened into stone again. The
stone couldn’t help but notice that the acid was burning the son’s hands but
the son didn’t complain, he just kept working even though it must have hurt him
dearly.
17. The
next day the master stone worker returned and began again the shaping
process. It still hurt but the stone
tried to be brave.
18. Days
passed, the son came often to watch the work progress. Something wonderful was emerging.
19. Finally
the work was done. The master stepped
back and gazing at the stone and said, “Because you allowed me and my son to work, you have
become our masterpiece.”
20. The
master stone worker, from the start, could see the potential in the stone that
wouldn’t have been apparent to others.
He knew that there was amazing beauty in the stone just waiting to be
discovered.
21. And
thus a beautiful stone had become more beautiful than ever. The stone, who had become an amazing piece of
art, would be admired by all who saw it for generations to come.
22. The master
stone worker and his son were thrilled with what the stone had become and the
stone lived happily every after.
23. The
End
Front Cover: This is
a parable. It is the story of a beautiful
stone. The stone sits on the side of a
mountain enjoying life. One day a master
stone worker comes along and the stone’s life begins to change.
Back Cover: Eric
Vogel lives in Orem Utah. He and his
wife are the parents of eight children.
Eric has always been fond of telling stories, especially to his children. In 2011 Eric was diagnosed with bone cancer
in his jaw. The last four years have
indeed been a journey of change. There
has been much pain in the journey but there has also been joy and, like the
stone, it has certainly shaped him in ways he never expected. And like the story, Eric has found that it is best to trust the master even when it hurts and he has felt the touch
of the Son helping to heal him when all seemed lost.
A beautiful story. I would love a copy when it's out. My kids would LOVE it! Much love your way.
ReplyDeleteThank you Candace. You are always so kind to me and I guarantee that you will be one of the first to get a copy as soon as it is in print. I also guarantee that it will be in print. Even if the normal publishers don't like it I will self publish if I have to. I already gave them a down payment just in case. They promised to return my money if a normal publisher want the publish the work. So, one way or another I am going to publish this book
DeleteSuch a beautiful story, Eric! Please let me know when you are published - I would like to buy copies for my grandchildren (and at least one for us!). I hope you will keep writing - you have a wonderful way with words. Love you!
ReplyDeleteLeslie, you are so nice. I guess I am self conscious about my ability to write. Many years ago I was in an AP english class and the teacher didn't like me very well and constantly told me that I had no talent as a writer. It has influenced my self esteem and it has been hard for me to shake over the years. Needless to say, your kind words really made me feel good. Maybe they will help me overcome my feelings of inadequacy that I have had since high school
DeleteSuch a wonderful, well written story. I didn't want it to end. Keep us posted as to when we can purchase some books! Hope you are doing well! We loved visiting with Jolynn the other day in Costco!
ReplyDeleteDear Roma, I am so grateful to have had you as a hygienist in my office. Honestly I miss you a lot every day that I work. It just doesn't seem quite like home since you retired. JoLynne loved seeing you and Paul as well. Paul is one of our inspirations. We look at him and it fills us with hope.
DeleteI love it! Faith building stories are the best!
ReplyDeleteLove you Eric!
Dear Laura. I am glad that you liked the story. You are very sweet to take the time to read it. Thanks for coming by my house the other day too. It was a joy for me to see you and hug you.
DeleteA beautiful and memorable story, Eric! Thank you. We are glad that you want to publish it.
ReplyDeleteLove, Bryce and Mary
Bryce, I place great value in your opinion. Thank you. Both you and Mary have always been so good to us. We love you both
ReplyDeleteWhat a fantastic story of hope, faith, and courage!
ReplyDeleteIt is so true, we never know what we will be molded, chiseled, or grinded in to. We have to go with the process, and it most always hurts. We have to trust the Master.
Thanks for the nice reminder. My family would love a copy, let us know when it can be purchased.
I'm so glad that the donut came out, that is a miracle all in itself.
We love you and your sweet family.
Take care!
Jessica
You are amazingly Nice Jessica. I am grateful for your friendship.
DeleteUncle Eric, I love this story! So descriptive and it relates directly to our relationship to our Heavenly Father and our Savior. I wouldn't strictly say it's a children's book, as it seem to me similar to Max Lucado's books that have a wonderful message for all. I can't wait to see how it turns out! Love you. -April
ReplyDeleteYou are very nice April. Thank you. I appreciate you.
ReplyDeleteEroc
I know a couple of people that could illustrate your book. Let me know if you need some help with that
ReplyDelete