Two miracles

Well, each day is a little better.  Yesterday my head felt like they had hit me with a two by four in the head a whole bunch of times.  Today just feels like a really bad headache.

There are two miracles that I should share.  It's important to me to share them so that God knows that I saw His hand in my life.  I do see His hand frequently.

When I came out of surgery one surgeon told me that my radiation damage was the worst he had ever seen.  Apparently they spent over an hour under a microscope trying to dissect out my facial nerve from the radiation damaged tissue.  In the end the nerve simply crumbled in their hands.  Dr Marx decided to simply lay the broken pieces back where they were supposed to be.  When I woke up they asked me to blink and I did.  None of the surgeons could understand how that was possible since they had all seen the nerve crumble.  One of the surgeons, Dr. Green, said, "There is simply no way you should be able to blink but here you are, we can't explain it"

A second miracle that may seem smaller but it was important to me.  On Monday I was feeling pretty depressed.  I guess some of that may be normal after a big surgery but knowing that didn't help.  I was in a lot of pain and the medication was only taking the edge off.  When I look in the mirror I see a pretty deformed face looking back at me.  I have no right jaw bone anymore and I lost of lot of teeth.  Then my eye wasn't focusing correctly, which for me is a really big deal.  If I can't focus, I can't do dentistry.  That means being forced to give up the profession I love so much.  We talked to my brother in law Troy.  He is a nuero-opthomolgist.  He said I needed to be seen soon by someone in his field.  He gave us some names of doctors in Miami.  We asked the medical staff for a consult and they said "It's essentially impossible to get an appointment with them.  Your best bet is to bring a bunch of food and just camp there and hope that they will look at you."

Somehow, with His help, we will get through

I guess all in all I was feeling like, "Wow, three and half years later and here I am back here and still not cured.  I'm so tired of struggling.  I wonder if God has forgotten me."  Those kind of feeling were pushing their way into my mind.  I sent Troy a video of my eye movement.  Shortly after he texts back and says, "Wow, crazy but I am at a seminar and who should I run into but the nuero-
ophthalmologist that I wanted you to see.  We looked at your video together.  He says he would be glad to see you and took your phone number and said he would call."  And then Troy said "Eric, you are not forgotten"  Those words and the miracle of him running into this guy right then was what I needed to pull me out of the dumps.  And the doctor did call about an hour later.  We have an appointment on Tuesday morning.

I know God doesn't forget any of us but in the heat of the struggle sometimes it is hard to remember.  My faith should be stronger.  I am grateful that when I go past my limits of faith that He reaches out in love to lift me up as only He can.