That "healthy glow"

Kind of "Sci Fi" don't you think?

The tanning salon

I have now finished one week of radiation therapy.  One down, five and a half to go.  It's kind of like a really high priced tanning salon.  You should see the healthy glow that I am sporting on my right side.  I think that I mentioned before that it was decided by the tumor board to give chemotherapy along with the radiation.  So, Monday morning I spent 6 hours getting chemotherapy and then a half hour getting radiation.  The chemotherapy agent chosen this time is cysplatin, the same one I had the first time around.  I am told that the dosage is less this time and they aren't giving me adriamycin at the same time so hopefully it will be less damaging.  Still, by Friday I wasn't feeling too great.  Saturday was worse and I went to bed early with a bowl by my side.  Sunday I seemed to feel better which was a blessing since I was supposed to teach at ward conference.  All in all, not fun but not as bad as last time.  The radiation makes me sleepy.  They say that will get worse as it goes along.  I'm also told that the oral side effects will worsen after the second week.  I guess it will cause mouth sores, trouble swallowing and sinus problems.  Oh well.

Life is great

Other than cancer drama, life is great.  Our little grand daughter just gets cuter every day.  She can now sit up on her own quite well for a little while.  She's also getting pretty good with her hands and moving things around.  It's great trying to get her to smile and giggle.  Peter is getting ready to go to the temple for the first time.  He had his final interview with the Stake President yesterday.  The Stake President told him "This is a great day for your parents".  Peter replied, "It's a great day for me!" and he is right.  He is counting down the days until he leaves for Barcelona on his mission.  Jarom continues to date a very nice young lady.  He brought her by for dinner yesterday and the whole family agrees that she is lovely.  Seth was just asked to come for another interview for medical school in Chicago.  The school is even paying his way this time, so all the better.  JoLynne is getting around better all the time on her healing legs.  It seems like her endurance is better and her pain is less.  Nobody has stolen our identity for weeks now and no pets have died so we are feeling pretty good about life.

People frequently tell me that we are in their prayers.  I just want you to know that we take that seriously and we are very grateful for your faith in our behalf.  I don't know how decisions are made in heaven but it can't hurt to have a lot of people pleading for you.  Thank you.

"There and back again"

We have recently returned from Minnesota, our Disney cruise and some wonderful family time in Florida.  It's was good to go but it's nice to be home!

Balmy Minnesota attire

The part of our the trip involving Minnesota was kind of a "necessary evil".  As you probably know if you follow this blog portions of my jaw cancer had returned and needed to be removed surgically.  The doctors decided to try and remove the tumors through my right nostril.  During surgery they found that they needed better access so an incision was made under my upper lip allowing the surgeon to access and remove the rest through my right sinus.  Not a fun surgery but certainly not as bad as last time when they peeled off the whole right side of my face.

My operation was on Tuesday and we were scheduled to fly to Florida on Friday to go on a cruise with our family.  We were probably a little crazy to plan a trip so soon after my surgery but it was a leap of faith.  In retrospect it all turned out well.  All of this is going to me make me more compassionate to my patients in the future when I treat them.  It turns out that getting your mouth cut isn't that comfortable.  Nothing engenders compassion better than personal experience.  After the surgery I was somewhat swollen for the next few weeks and I had to be careful when I was eating so that food wouldn't push on the surgical site but overall the recovery wasn't too bad.   Gratefully eating isn't that big of a part of taking a cruise. :)

Beach at St. Thomas

So we arrived in Florida and met our children at the airport.   We had  chosen to go on a Disney cruise since they were the only one we could find that would allow a 3 months old baby on board.  This was our first cruise ever so we have nothing to compare against but it was wonderful.  There was fun stuff to do every day, way too much food,  beautiful sunsets and lots of time where you didn't have to do anything.  I've decided that it is way nicer to recover from surgery on a cruise ship than in a hospital room and it costs a lot less.

Drowning in a life jacket

Our cruise left from Florida and headed to St. Thomas.  With all our trips to Mexico we are somewhat used to beaches in December so laying on the beach seemed just right for Christmas.  Taking our grand daughter swimming in the ocean for the first time was simply a delight.  From there we went to Puerto Rico.  The day we docked was rainy but we didn't care.  We put on Disney ponchos and trudged all around San Juan.  We were looking for "old town" and at one point we asked a policeman for directions.  He just looked at us and said, "It's all old town".  Anyway, we had a great day and the rain cleared up after a while as well.  From there we went to an island owned by Disney and spent another day on the beach.  It rained that day as well but we still had a great time.  The rain just helped to clear everyone off the beach and leave it all for us.

Epcot at night

After seven days at sea we returned back to Florida where JoLynne had rented a home for us near Disney World.  We couldn't check into the house until the afternoon so we went for a ride in the everglades on airboats.  Our cute little grand daughter was simply "drowning" in the life jacket but it worked, sort of.  it was amazing to skim across the swamps and see birds and alligators everywhere you looked.  The home that JoLynne rented was just perfect for the twelve of us.  I don't think that I mentioned that we had every one of our children with us and our son in law and grand daughter.  We managed a "full house".  Days were spent at Disney World and evenings spent playing games and watching movies.  It was wonderful.  The park was full but JoLynne, the master planner, seemed to get us onto the rides with almost no waiting for the most part.  She is amazing.

Disney at Christmas.
Apparently we weren't the only ones with this idea

Finally on Saturday it was time to return to real life.  It's hard to go from 70 degrees and sun to snow and 20 degrees but it had to be done.  We came home to shoveled driveways thanks to our wonderful neighbors and a nice warm home.  So nice to sleep in our own bed again.  And, even with all the fancy food of a cruise ship somehow what you make in your own kitchen just tastes better.

Holding my nephew,
Finally someone with my same hairstyle

Well, on this Wednesday we meet with the radiation oncologist here to start making plans for my radiation. We have high hopes that it will not be so devastating as the chemotherapy.  We are especially hopeful that with the radiation and my last surgery we can finally defeat this cancer once and for all.  I wouldn't wish cancer on anyone but this last year has taught me things that I don't know that I could have learned the same in any other way.  I have a CTR ring that I wear.  I know that CTR stands for "Choose the Right" but  I wear it because for me it also stands for "Choose to Remember".  I hope that long after I am cured I can always remember what this year has taught me.

Among other things cancer has taught me:

• Trust in the Lord and He won't disappoint you.  He may not take away your trials but He will walk with you through them.  Having Him by my side has meant everything to me.
• The blessing of family in times of trial.  I have felt help from people from the other side of the veil, especially my mother.  My children have lifted me (literally at times) when I couldn't lift myself.  I can't even express what JoLynne has meant to me.  I have come to look upon her as my guardian angel.  Words can't express what I feel.  
• The true meaning of charity.  I have seen such amazing kindness and caring by those around me
• Why the Holy Ghost is called the "comforter" and what that really means.
• The power of the Temple in bringing peace and helping us to find answers to our questions.
• The power of faith, especially on the part of people who care about you and priesthood blessings to bring about miracles.



Sunset over Disney

• What really matter in life.  Things that seemed so important to me before seem less so now.  I appreciate a sunrise more, looking at my grand daughter or holding her while she falls asleep are pretty high on my list now.

We are so grateful for each day and for friends and family who love and support us.  Thank you!

Full circle

Today is Thursday, I am out of the hospital and my second surgery is done.  Thank heavens!  As promised, the gravity of this surgery was much less than the first and I am grateful for that.  They went up through my nose and cut a hole through my sinus and retrieved as much of the tumor as they were able.  They then made an incision under my upper lip and accessed the sinus from there and removed the rest.  I am a little swollen and with all those holes in my sinuses things aren't draining quite right yet.  In the process of getting out the tumor they destroyed my maxillary nerve so I am really numb on the upper right including my palate.  Like dental anesthesia times 10.  I kind of doubt that will come back.  To be honest, I know it needs to be done, but I'm getting kind of tired of being "whittled" on.  Each time there is a little less of me after.  I guess I will have better empathy for my patients when they are numb now.

It was quite strange, while preparing for surgery they took me to the exact same bay as last year to await my turn.  After the surgery I was assigned to the same hospital room as last year for recovery.  Wow, that brought back memories.  It seems I have come full circle.  As always, the nurses and everyone else was great.  They are so professional and careful at Mayo.

Bad Boy tattoo 

I'm feeling pretty rebellious these days.  My bald head makes me look like a "bad guy" and after the surgeon signed my neck it looked like I had some low budget tattoo.  Then they told me that they used cocaine to numb my nose during surgery.  Really it is a slippery slope.

Today I am hoping to hear back about the pathology of the tumor they removed.  We are also meeting with radiation oncology this morning.  The nature of the remaining tumor may influence how they go about the radiation.  I don't think that I mentioned but we have decided to have our radiation done in Utah.  We have a doctor there who is willing to work with the radiation oncologist here to design a treatment plan.  It was a matter of deep thought but being in Utah will allow me to be close to my family, to continue to work and teach and of course the cost will be radically less if we do it in Utah.  After praying about it and going to the temple we feel okay about that decision.  Dr. Foote here is wiling to oversee the procedure remotely and that made us feel better.  We meet with him today.

The most beautiful place in the world

I am home from the hospital.  Yeah!  The last two weeks have been strange.  Ever since I began my last round of chemotherapy two weeks ago my health went into a a steady decline.  As I try to remember the events these last two weeks it all seems fuzzy like a dream.  Eventually I ended up in the hospital with a serious condition called "Tiphlitus".  It pushed me closer to the veil than I wanted.  I shouldn't complain.  It is those times when I am pushed to the very edge that I have had the most sweet spiritual experiences in my life, and I am grateful for those.  However, as a general rule,  I would like to live my life just a little further from that edge.  Thanks to the prayers and faith of family and friends, the skills of doctors and nurses and the intervention of God, my body has begun to mend.  I have a ways to go still but yesterday they felt I was well enough to finish my healing at home and I was discharged.

Santa Claus or Eric...hmm

One of the effects of tiphlitus is extensive abdominal swelling.  I have been blessed in my life to never really struggle too much with my weight.  I really take no credit, just the hand I was dealt.  What a strange experience to be transformed nearly overnight from a size 34 waist to a size 44 waist!  And to go from 175 pounds to 215 pounds.  Very weird!  Maybe I'm turning into Santa Claus?  It has gone down quite a bit now but I still wonder who I am seeing in the mirror.  It's like looking at myself in a funhouse mirror.

View from my hospital room

While in the hospital at least I was blessed to have a room with a beautiful view.  That was nice.  However I think that I prefer my current window view even though somewhat less spectacular.

A view I prefer

Years ago, when I was in dental school,  I had a patient who had traveled nearly everywhere in the world with his job.  I was very untraveled at the time and so I asked him one day, "What is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen in all your travels?"  He thought for a moment and then said, "The most beautiful thing I have ever seen is what I see at the end of a long trip when I walk through my front door".  I have never forgotten that and that is how I felt when I walked through our door yesterday.

An update

As many of you already know and to update those of you who do not, Eric was admitted to the hospital this last weekend with a serious bowel infection following his last round of chemotherapy.  His bowels were highly inflamed and he is on high dose antibiotics as the doctors try to get the swelling down before his bowels become necrotic and die.  


We held a family fast for him Sunday and he seems to be improving.  His white blood cell counts came up from 0 to 4.1 (normal is 4.5) which is the most critical part of overcoming this problem.  His blood pressures are back up into normal ranges and the inflammation is starting to go down. 

We are so grateful to all of you who fasted and prayed with us on Sunday as we definitely felt the strength that comes from your faith.  

He will remain in the hospital for a few more days as the doctors monitor his progress. We know God is with him at this time and is aware of him.  We are confident that he will return to health soon.  

-The Vogels

The end at last!

Friday was my last day of chemotherapy.  Seven rounds and twenty one dose later I am so ready to be done.  This last regimen started out somewhat easier but each progressive round has been more difficult.  This last round has pretty well knocked me off my feet.  With a few interruptions, I have slept almost 72 hours.  I could fall asleep again now but I am so sick of sleeping!  At the completion of chemotherapy they have a bell for you to ring signifying that you have finished your treatment.  Ringing that bell caused JoLynne and I to shed a few tears.  Everyone in the room cheered and clapped.  I wish that they could be done as well.  Someday somebody is going to figure out a way to treat cancer without chemotherapy.  That will be a wonderful day.

Sometimes you just need to laugh

Hope I won't need to call him too soon

So, the other day at work a friend dropped by to visit.  We served together in Bolivia as missionaries.  Honestly, I haven't seen him for nearly 30 years.  I'm not very good at keeping track of people.  At the time I was busy with patients so the receptionist didn't even tell me that he had come.  He did leave his business card which the receptionist gave to me at the end of the day.  I looked at the front side and saw his name then I flipped over the card and began to laugh.  I'm sure he didn't know the challenges that I am facing but it did make me laugh.  As a matter of fact, I chuckled about it on and off most of the day.

I am doing well.  Lately mostly I have just been tired.  I think I have brought tired to a whole new level for me.  The other night I was getting ready for bed, brushing my teeth, flossing and all that.  I was really tired so I laid down on the bed to finish flossing.  The next thing I knew I woke up with floss dangling from my mouth.  I had fallen asleep while flossing.  I think that may have been a first.

I know,  I need a new toothbrush

I think we can see the "light at the end of the tunnel".  This coming Wednesday I will begin my last round of chemotherapy.  I don't look forward to being sick again but at least this is the last journey down this dark road.  Thank Heavens!  In three weeks we will have another MRI taken and hopefully the tumor will show additional reduction in size.  They are going to give me a little time to recover from the chemo then off to surgery.  Right now I am scheduled for a surgery consult on December 10th and surgery either December 11th or 13th.  Unless something changes it will be a same day surgery.  It will be done at Mayo as a laproscopic surgery.  One tumor will come out through my nose and the second one through my mouth.  A few days after surgery JoLynne and I are going to meet our children in Florida and go on a Disney cruise.  We have never been a on a cruise before.  This will be the first.  All of our children are in the area and we decided to "splurge".  It will be good to be together, making happy memories.  In mid January JoLynne and I will move to Minnesota for 7 weeks while I undergo radiation therapy.  Nothing like Minnesota in February.  JoLynne asked what we are going to do during all day when  I am not receiving radiation treatment.  I told her "We'll just chill out".