Saturday, January 17, 2015

Waiting and praying and dreaming of Abigar

It has now been about 11 days since my infusion.  This is uncharted territory for me.  I have been through chemo enough to know what to expect more or less and when it will hit.  This is different.  I'm certainly not sick like I was with chemo.  I am very grateful for that.  I am tired though.  My face is swollen and the wound in my face has shown a sharp increase in it's drainage.  I have speculations about what is happening but it is hopeful speculation.  We won't really know anything empirical  until the Scan in mid February.

In the meantime, JoLynne and I seem to find things to fill our days.  We have been working out for about an hour a day together.  That has been enjoyable.  We have been to some museums and the zoo and the temple several times of course.  It's good.

Picture painted by my daughter Shanelle of Abigar
When my children were young I would make up stories for them about a dragon named Abigar.  They loved those stories.  I would mostly tell them when we were on trips.  They would all cram together on the back bed in the motorhome, we would turn out all  the lights and I would have them all close they eyes and tell me the first thing that they saw when their eyes were closed.  When they had all told me these random things I would begin the stories and somehow weave what they had told me into the stories.  Sometimes that took some creativity but it worked.  If we were with other families on the trip sometimes their children were squeezed in on the back bed as well.  Those were wonderful times and happy memories.  I must have told hundreds of stories.  There is no way that I could remember them all but I have long intended to sit down and write some of the stories that I do remember.  So, I have been working on that.  Maybe my children will read them to my grandchildren.   Better yet, maybe I will one day have my grandchildren squeezed on a bed somewhere with the lights out and I will tell them Abigar stories myself.   Already, my daughter tells her daughter Abigar stories that she is making up.

Maybe it's all my imagination but it really feels like a literal battle being waged in the side of my head where the tumor is located.  We are praying for the outcome of that battle.

9 comments:

  1. I put your name on the prayer roll at Mt. Timp this morning.

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    1. Dear Weldon. You are a true friend. I am so grateful for your ongoing faith in my behalf

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  3. Suddenly you are a writer as well. All sorts of wonderful things are coming out of this huge ordeal :) Every prayer we offer for whatever reason includes you -- we feel the battle raging as well. Sometines it wakes Mark up at night. He will continue to fast for you every Sunday until you are out of the woods. You are worth the fight!

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    1. My dear Mark and Julie. I read your comment as JoLynne and I were driving home from the temple. I was hurting more than usual but that wasn't what brought tears to my eyes. It was your sweet words and the kindness and caring behind them. You two continue to amaze me with your compassion. You exemplify true charit in my mind. I want you to know how much I love and appreciate you both. As JoLyyne so correctly said it. "How can you not get better with people like that praying for you"

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  4. You will be telling stories to your grandkids an great grandchildren for years to come! I just know it! We are praying for you everyday and your name is also in the temples here in Arizona! We need you here and are not giving up! We love you & Jolynne!
    Kelly and Eileen

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    1. Dear Kelly and Eileen, we love you both. Thank you for your sweet friendship

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  5. Dear Dr. Vogel,
    I haven't been a patient of yours for very long but I have been staying updated on your progress for months now and I wanted to let you know that you've been in my prayers. Your brother-in-law, Randy, was my parents bishop and I grew up getting to know him and his family and I am so sorry for your families loss - he was an incredible man. I sure do look forward to your continued progress and I'll keep praying for you!
    Andrew Whittle

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    1. Dear Andrew, I appreciate your prayers. We miss Randy dearly. It seems surreal to have him gone. We know we will see him again but in the meantime, there is a hole that is hard to fill.

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