Saturday, November 19, 2011

The quiet battle

notice the nice clean floor
So, I think that I have decided that this stage of the journey is more of a quiet battle.  The victories each day seem trivial and yet they aren't to me.  For example, today I moped the kitchen floor.  Wow!  Hardly blog worthy and yet it took a lot of my strength and I had to take a nap when I was done.  More importantly it meant something to JoLynne.  I am unable to contribute much of anything but at least that was something.  I ate two eggs and two sausage today.  Hardly noteworthy you might say and yet every bite was a battle for me.  I hate to admit it but I was quite proud of myself when I was done.  My prayers on the food now go something like this "Heavenly Father, please help me to eat this food"  Short and sweet but sincere.

Honestly there are successes to celebrate.  For example, I am now walking without crutches.  I use a cane sometimes but most of time I just hold JoLynne's hand.  My leg doesn't hurt anymore hardly at all.  Today my naps were only an hour instead of two.  I walked all the way around the block with JoLynne and didn't even hardly stop once.   I had the energy to write a letter to my son on his mission and to begin reading a novel to my children.   I think that I need to focus on the fact that even though today wasn't great it was much better than yesterday.  That is what I need to keep watching.  Really it has only been two days since my last dose of chemo.  I need to be patient.  That was never my best trait.

We still feel outpourings of love from those around us.  Today we had one friend bring us a wonderful soup, another brought us pies and a third brought us some delicious scones.  I will try to eat a little of each but it will take some effort.  My family is loving it though.  Mostly I appreciate the continued faith and prayers in my behalf.  I know that I am going to get better.  It will just take time.  Thank you for your continued love and concern.

7 comments:

  1. I really appreciate you posting your small battles. It really shows where you're at, and that must be a hard place to be. But it also shows how resilient you are. You're one of our favorite people and we know you'll beat this. We look forward to seeing how you make it happen!

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  2. Thank you for your encouragement Karl. I miss seeing you and your family. I hope flagstaff is treating you well. I am going to get better. Sometimes it's like a long race where you can only think about the next few steps not the next few miles. Before you know it. There is the finish line and your family cheering as you approach. That

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  3. Hey Brother, I'm so excited to see you next week. We have been praying continually for you still. I have a whole flock of my patients praying for you too. You are a great inspiration to many here. Hang in there. You will get better.

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  4. Wish I could sit down to a scone with you Eric. I love that the thing you choose to do with your limited energy was to do something for your wife. You are a true gem! One day at a time Erico!
    Lots of love
    Kelly

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  5. "Eric, the sisters in my ward continue to pray for you and ask how you are doing? Along with me. Now you will know how Mom felt. By the way, Mom never lost all her hair when she was having kemo. It only thinned out a little more. You are in my families prayers. Now I will add that you do not catch the flu or anything else that will be coming around this winter along with being able to eat. Love you lots, you are an inspiration to me now as much as ever.

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  6. Hang in there Eric. It's cool you mopped the floor. There's something fulfilling and powerful about completing a task. I'm wondering if I have what it takes to run a marathon with you when you're better.

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  7. Dear Steve. Than you. I have always appreciated your friendship from when you first moved in and we went on that first cub cam putt together. I think we are kindred spirits. I have now doubt that you have a marathon in if you want. You seem cab ably of anything you put your ;mind to. I;m guessing that the first one when I get back will be very slow and relaxed. Maybe a group of friends doing an informal marathon. I can think of some beautiful 26 miss run hikes.

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